6.letters_5.letters_7.letters

word up.

2007-03-19T21:41:33Z

im in math right now. man, this class is so boring. im probably going to fall asleep soon. =P

on another note, i have thee greatest boyfriend. i told him i was having a bad day yesterday, and he showed up at my work with a single red rose. and to make it even better, i was in the back when he came in, and he told jared to tell me someone was complaining. ahh, what a nice surprise. i dont know man. ive never had a boyfriend treat me so well, or do so much for me. i wish i could thank him somehow, other than "thank you". =/ i love you william. hehe. =)

as for friends, we're all having our own problems, but we're all here for each other. working together, doing what we can. and i wouldnt want it any other way. i love them. =)

deanna, text me or message me if you read this nukka. i need to talk to you wifey!

life is good. =)

maybememories5 @ 2007-03-16T00:11:00

2007-03-16T07:22:06Z

this is the point in life where life gets harder.
this is the point in life where things should be taken more seriously.

jen. my best friend. and she may be leaving for the air force within the next week. its killing me to think about it. i love her. shes my other half. i feel like im going to fall apart if she leaves, but she has to go and i know that. its only 4 years. i just dont want to lose her. i need to cherish what time is left until she goes.

william. my boyfriend. hes not going anywhere. but man, oh man, this boy just keeps making me fall harder and harder, faster and faster. words cant describe him. i mean, i was fine all day, and then he leaves for about 30 minutes and im just in this horribly sad mood. and he listened, and he let me cry it all out, and he held me and rubbed my back and said the simple "everything will be okay. i love you. if you need anything, im here." bascially, i love him too. =)

A. WALK IT OUT.
B. "MAGIC!"
C. lateskeeeeez.

maybememories5 @ 2007-03-10T09:06:00

2007-03-10T17:07:54Z

oh my god...

tonight is going to be CRAZY!

i cant sleep...

2007-03-09T08:50:17Z

i hate being broke. i cant sleep. i just now figured out all my money problems though. thank god. i was about to go out of my mind for goodness sake.

im moving out sooon. i think im taking some stuff other there next friday. and hopefully by the next weekend il have a bed and everything. i want a new bed though. a big one. =)

party in t-minus: 1 day!! thats insane! i cant wait! its going to go offfff!

so...

2007-03-03T20:08:09Z

im thinking of moving out within the next week. like, seriously considering it. im going to talk to my mom about it today. the commute would kind of suck for school and work, but im willing to do it. after the party, which is in a week exactly (im so excited!!), i have to saving alllll my money.

last night was pretty dope. i hung out with a ton of people that i havent seen in ages. it was great to catch up. =) i had a good buzz going, which is always nice. william asked me to be his girlfriend. amazing, duhh. and something else amazing happened, but its unmentionable.

i love life. gonna go tan & buy smokes. nothing like killing yourself. haha. later homeys!

chelloOo

2007-02-28T18:30:32Z

money is tiiight. but somebodys got to put bread on the table.

i miss jen. =( she hasnt been able to come out a lot lately and it sucks. i seriously havent seen her in like 2 days, and we've even been talking a lot less. ahhh it sucks! we are going dress shopping & tanning today though. =)

ahh, im fall more & more everyday for this boy. its another one of those "who wouldve thought?" but yeah yeah yeah, its pretty fucking great. =D

dopeee party in t-minus: 10 days!!! =)

but money is tight. its like... i never even have any anymore, no matter how much i try to save it up. =( i actually have to borrow money from my mom, which i dont think i have ever done. =/ life goes on.

just walk it out. =)

maybememories5 @ 2007-02-20T09:17:00

2007-02-20T17:19:46Z

it seems like all you girls happy with the boys that you are with. and you know what?
#1: im happy for you all!
#2: im happy with the boy I'm with too!

hehehe, it is february after all. =)

i should be asleep.

2007-01-29T09:23:25Z

school started two weeks ago. its been hard getting used school again. its been harder though cause i have a full time job. but its okay; i really like school. ive met some cool people already and my teachers are all chill. i hope i do well; thats all i want. =)

i went snowboarding for the first time today with jen, bj, and matt. it was fun! il totally have everything down by next time.

right before new years i started hanging out with jen barber again. im so glad i did too. we are each others other half. ah, i love her. =)

i missed jose tonight, and it felt oh-so wrong. but its okay cause i still like someone. hehe.

hello good morning.

2007-01-11T15:22:24Z

i like someone. =)

Today is the day to end all days of the year.

2006-12-31T18:40:19Z

Happy Birthday Luanna!
partee baybee girl. =]

Happy New Years... Eve!
i fooled you!
have an awesome ~~day~~night!! =D

Mmmm, yeah, pretty much, its like, life is grand.

Life is fucking grand! =D

maybememories5 @ 2006-10-19T19:18:00

2006-10-20T02:19:50Z

is everyone quitting livejournal again? im trying not to. but theres way too much going on to keep updating about it all regularly... =\

soon, il catch y'all up.

maybememories5 @ 2006-09-16T16:48:00

2006-09-16T23:50:59Z

Life's still crazy. I don't even know. It's all so crazy still. Fuck, I want time to move fast, and for things to straighten themselves out, and for everyone to be happy, always. Fuck.

</3

2006-09-10T03:27:42Z

Life's been so fucking crazy lately.

I got my heart broken, and had to break up with José today. I'm a mess.

maybememories5 @ 2006-08-22T23:25:00

2006-08-23T06:29:07Z

last night was a lot of fun. then it was pretty horrible and dramatic. then it was amazing. i know who my real friends are now. and i love them.

kyle, pat, and the nicks made me feel so amazing.
creighton is a great guy.
creightons friend are chill cause they were with me.

things with jose are just a mess. a huge confusing mess. but itll smooth over. it always does.

maybememories5 @ 2006-08-10T17:52:00

2006-08-11T00:53:29Z

i should grow up and be a prostitute.
bahahahaha. im joking.

but i think that cleared things up a little. no?

ohhh

2006-08-10T06:16:47Z

well...

life is so bittersweet.

maybememories5 @ 2006-08-08T23:36:00

2006-08-09T06:41:59Z

so... life has been outta control crazy, good, sucky, hectic. but its bettering itself so i'm fine.

i saw a toad tonight outside my house. it was so random. a freakin toad! i named it cricket, even though il probably never see it again.

i took a little vacation like 2 weeks ago. it was awesome. jose, miguel, caryn, and i went up to ray and meredith's new apartment. seriously just awesome. i wanna go again.

danggg... life is so good. its sweet.

im in deep with this one. and so far, so good. =)

maybememories5 @ 2006-07-13T12:29:00

2006-07-13T19:30:10Z

OH YEAH...

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. =D

maybememories5 @ 2006-07-11T12:18:00

2006-07-11T19:25:46Z

that last entry was a joke. by the wayyy.

im not even sure where jose and i stand anymore. we both love each other more than you or you could ever imagine. but we had a big fight last night. yet we made up within a few hours. and as we fell asleep, we held on to each other tightly, and repeated how much we love one another. and yet, when we got up this morning, he said he had a dream and now he realizes that he can't be with me anymore. and its over? he got all his stuff from my house, and he just left. not even a goodbye, or an i love you. he did say, "when you find my other shirts, give me a call." but i dont know if this is real, or if he's just doing this. thats why im not all up in my room crying over it or anything. i hope this isnt the end, but its his choice. im not going after him, because it never works. i called his house at 12:05 to see what the hell was going on with us, and miguel said he wasn't home. but... i think jose might have told miguel, that if i called, to tell me that he wasn't there. i know he is, whether whoever answers says yes or no. because no one would come pick him up within 10 minutes of him leaving my house, at 12 in the afternoon. i know this. anyways, i dont know whats going on right now. and im only half scared that its over. but i love him. i really love him. =\

i think im going to go buy some clothes today. HELLAAA.

so...

2006-06-30T04:58:13Z

i'm pregnant.

i never thought it would happen to me...

maybememories5 @ 2006-06-16T23:17:00

2006-06-17T06:35:22Z

luannas funeral was today.

the wake wasnt a wake at all. because really, how do you have a wake for someone who was hit by a train? right. so there was a lot of speeches. and a pastor. man, i just cant believe in god. its all so phony to me. i just cant. but the speeches were touching, especially her dad and brothers speeches. and they had compiled two videos of just pictures. it was heart breaking. we'll never get to see this beautiful girls smile unless we open a photo album. ya know? i cried the entire time. about two hours. except for while the pastor was speaking. isnt that odd? but i was crying really hard. and im glad i had jose next to me to hold my hand. and im glad i could hear all the boys choking back tears. we didnt got to the burial. im not sure why, we just decided not to. ive been crying on and off all day. just thinking about her, it makes me so sad. she was my twin. just tall, brown, and with big titties. haha. i wont forget a thing we did, or talked about when we hung out. i wont forget that she pretty much only listened to panic! and cartel in her car. and i wont forget the way she danced around school while she was picking up roll sheets and delivering call slips. i wont forget going into the office during 5th period and calling her a retard after she called me a loser. i wont forget the way we both make a zillion sound effects and the way we were so alike in so many ways. the only thing i regret about our relationship is that it didnt begin sooner. i wont forget meeting her my freshman year in soccer and getting along with her, but not wanting to really be her friend because she was still in middle school. now i didnt get to be her friend until what... march? and i only had a few months with her. the place where the wake was held, vineyard christian school, had a huge sanctuary. she couldve filled that place in an instant with her friends. she couldve lit that entire place up with her smile. i just keep picturing her being goofy with me at mall, being goofy at school, being goofy all the time and it breaks me down a little inside. some of the things that were said today were really touching. like her dad said that one of her friends told him that while she was praying for his family, she saw god come and wrap his arms around luanna right before the train hit. i dont believe in god, but try to tell me that doesnt touch your heart? okay. il miss her a lot. a lot a lot. but its okay. its part of life. and shes a part il never forget. rest in peace luanna wang. i love you baby girl.

after the wake, jose and i got ice cream at baskin robbins, then we saw nacho libre. it was, to my surprise, funny. i thought it looked really lame, but i ended up liking it and laughing quite a bit. afterward, he got food and we came home. bobby came over for a little bit. jose went to hang out with nick around 9 and around 10 i was already with them again. haha, turns out they were with chicky and i texted her to hang out and they call me like "COME DOWN HERE AND HURRY." haha, it was boring but at least i wasnt alone. i came alone though. it got extremely boring, so i figured i'd just come home and update, maybe talk to simone a little bit, lay down and watch a little teevee. so its tv time. peace out yalllll. (il probably make a few more entries about luanna because its hard not to think about her. i may have not been her friend for a long time, but i loved her to death. to MY death, not hers. so expect a few more, and dont complain in your head about them. =))

maybememories5 @ 2006-06-14T12:28:00

2006-06-14T19:57:49Z

yesterday was crazy.

first was the graduation rehearsal. we got mcdonalds on the way there. (mm mm!) but joses mom told us the wrong street so we were driving for a LONG time on the wrong street. so i called pat like 10 minutes before the rehearsal started and we turned around and finally got there. it was really quick but so hot. and i messed up BAD at the rehearsal so i was all scared i was going to mess up the real thing. first i didnt walk at the right time, then i tripped over this little string. embarrassinggg. oh well.

after the rehearsal, we rushed over to the hospital to see how my mom was getting to my graduation. that was a pain in the ass. she thought i was taking her so i had to call like a million people to try and find someone to take her. she didnt end up going though. not because no one would take her. because the hospital wouldn't just temporarily release her. if she left, they wouldn't take her back. and shes really sick right now, so she had to stay.

so i dropped jose off at home, and then i showered very quickly. picked jose up and we drove to cypress to see my brother and his family. we ate at el torito and jose and i got the biggest plates. they were HUGE. but so so good. we were both full as hell. it was really nice to see that part of my family. theyre funny. we just laughed a lot. and baby dj is so cute. his cheeks are HUGE! adorable.

back home to the ever so sweet yl. josie pie and i took a nap on the couch and then around 3 we left for the hospital. i went there and my moms best friend nedi took pictures of me. without my cap and gown. with my cap and gown. with my mom. and my stupid gown wouldnt zip. we seriously tried for like 30 minutes, then i called the school to make sure there would be extras. and after being on the phone for like 10 minutes, i finally got it to zip. at about 3:45, i left there because we had to head over to bradford stadium.

we stopped by the coffee bean to get some tea and a cookie, then we went to bradford. it was SO hot. we had to get all dressed up. i gave jose my keys and i put my phone in my undies so i would have it right after the ceremony. then we had to sit in the gym for almost an hour. it was so hot in there. but it was nice to talk to and hug a lot of people you probably wont ever see again. you know? it was a little sad too, but everyone was just so happy that they finally made it. it started finally and i didnt mess up walking or trip or anything. the ceremony was really boring, haha. the wind was blowing kinda hard and it kept almost blowing my hat off, but it was nice because that way the sun wasn't beating down on us. i loved throwing my cap. i took off my tassle and just threw it. it was so great. it was the best feeling in the world. like this is it. and this is real. it was amazing.

after we finally got out of there, i met jose at my car and we went to dinner with his family. we ate at tgi fridays. i got this fatty burger. it was SO good. i got so full, i couldnt even eat all of it. it was really fun to sit there with him and his brother and his cousin. theyre funny. and oh my god! his mom is hilarious! we were playing with the baby. and im all "awww, i want one." and shes like "me too." and then she added "aye, but don't have one yet please. wait like five years. you two better be being safe!" hahaha, oh my gosh, i love her. she's so cute sometimes. the bill was $286!! thats so crazy! the one for el torito was only $82. but there was like 3 times as many people.

after dinner, we just went home and went to sleep. actually, we got in a huge fight. then we both just talked it out to each other. and he poured his heart out to me. he just told me how much he loved me over and over. and why. and just that he loves me so much. and it made me so happy even though i still felt like crying. i was so happy. because i truly love this boy. much more than the previous. he is amazing to me. he treats me like i am his world. and i treat him like a god. what more could him and i ask for? we have a car, a house, money, and most of all each other.

the night before last, him and i drove out to laguna hills to get my grandpa, so he could pick up his car from my house. my grandparents absolutely LOVE jose. we just sat there for like 30 minutes, eating jelly beans, ice cream, and steak. haha, not all together, but you get it. after we got back to yorba linda, jose was all "i want more steak." over and over. haha. it was mm mm good! my grandma called me the next day to tell me how much she and my papa liked him. that makes me really happy that my grandparents like him so much because they mean the world to me.

today i have to work from 2:30-6:30. i've been cleaning allll morning. throwing shit away and just making the house look a lot better than it did before. i still need to vacuum and do a little laundry. i think bobby is stopping by later tonight to look at our kittens so he can pick one out. jose had a doctors appointment this morning and his mommy took him. his heart has been hearting him and he's been getting chest pains and stuff. little panic attacks. i hope he's okay. cause i love him, and if anything happened to that boy, i'd be torn.

maybememories5 @ 2006-06-10T09:49:00

2006-06-10T17:08:14Z

everythings been great lately. not really much to say because i'd just tell you how amazing my life is right now and how im so happy that jose and i are dating and all that great stuff.

well, my moms in the hospital. she caught a cold from me which turned into pnuemonia. but when that went away she started having hallucinations and she was really dellusional. then when that went away she almost had a heart attack. so theyre keeping her there for a while just to make sure she doesnt have a bad heart.

i talked to my brother on his birthday. i was like "happy 16th birthday!" and hes like "im 15..." i just laughed. cause thats some funny stuff. i hadn't talked to him since november. crazy. him and his dad are coming down to watch me graduate on tuesday.

the last day of school was thursday. i cried a bit. not half as much as i thought i was going to though. i don't know how i did it but in my third period class, right before the bell rang, i raised my hand and asked to say something. then i said something along the lines of, "i dont really know why im doing this. its kinda corny but... i just wanted to thank mr. lejano for being a really awesome teacher." (i start crying and the whole class goes, "awww ashlee") "and i wanted to thank mr. honig too, even though he isn't here." (the whole class goes "mhm =)") "but most of all... i wanted to thank you guys for making this one of the best classes i've had all four years of high school. it's been an awesome time and i just wanted to thank you guys before its all over." (the whole class starts crying too.) then the bell rang and everyone gave me a hug. it was really great. i don't know how i did that, but i don't regret doing it. they won't forget it and i know mr. lejano won't either. he told us "i want to thank you guys too. this has definitely been one of the best classes i've had in a few years." i can't wait to graduate. but i'm definitely going back to visit select teachers and staff members. i made mr. ortega cry too. =)

thursday morning luanna killed herself. i don't know how or why she did it. she was always laughing, smiling, and just living her life to the fullest. she had the job she always wanted before she was even out of high school. her life was pretty much perfect. but obviously not. there was obviously something deeper than any of us knew. i heard she got expelled from school and then kicked out of her house this last week. i dont understand. if thats true, i know what she got expelled for. and if it's true, then she got kicked out because she was an outstanding student -- all a's. when christina told me, i didn't know what to do. i was driving to school and i my face was just blank. it didn't hit me until i got to school and saw nick. his face was just like mine. blank. then it really hit me once i walked into the office. she was an office aide and everyone in there was crying. i just walked to mrs. lopez and hugged her and started pouring my eyes out. luanna was an amazing girl. her and i were so alike. our personalities were exactly the same. we all the same things. and we had plans for this summer. i dont know; its just hard to know you've lost someone so close to you. thats selfish to say though, cause im not the only one who lost her. this world lost her. i guess she parked her car at kyles for the two days before. then thursday morning she jumped in front of a train. im going to miss her a lot. she was fun, beautiful, and intelligent. and though im just trying to remember the good times, its hard. because sometimes it the goodtimes that make it hurt the most. im crying now. so luanna wang, il miss you. i love you. i hope whatever it was, is better now this way. i hope you rest in peace. i love you...

today im getting a dress for graduation. then i hope to go to the beach wifff my boy. or do something else fun. =)

im sleepy; i want my teddy bear again. =)

2006-05-14T16:24:22Z

last night was pretty amazing; i definitely love a boy.

maybememories5 @ 2006-05-12T23:31:00

2006-05-13T06:47:24Z

so today started good and ended perfect. i took jose home and went to the coffee bean. i got my nails done, coffee bean again, and my hair done for a test-run. then i pick up jose and went to steinmart and bought him a shirt. we went to the hair place and got him some pomade. then i took him home for a little and waited around to go get him. an old friend came by and invited me to a party. unfortunately, i did not attend. =\ i went and got jose around 6 and we did some paperwork for my mom and then to the coffee bean again...

(this is too cute. so if you dont want to hear about my happiness and cuteness, i suggest you stop reading.)

...when we came home i was in a BAD mood for some reason and i was being really mean to him and i knew it. so we watched fresh prince, then we went for a walk. when we came back, i was feeling bad so i went in my room and i guess i was in there for a while and he came in and was like "what are you doing?" and i pulled my shirt down really fast and said "nothing." and he asked again and he saw i had a highlighter and was like "what is this for?" and i said "nothing." he started to get frustrated why i wouldnt tell him what i was doing so i showed him. i have a black light in my room. so i walked to my lamp, turned off the normal light and turned on the black one, and i lifted my shirt. on my tummy i had written "sorry for being bitchy and talking back all night. I ♥ U Jose!" and i put a smiley face at the end. he walked over and just gave me the perfect kiss.

prom is tomorrow. im excited. =)